The Art of Listening.
Trish Drynan, July 2020
“To lean in softly with a willingness to be changed by what we heard.”
-Anonymous.
Whether it is selling Real Estate, communicating with my children and husband, or teaching and practicing Mindfulness and Yoga, engaging in active listening (listening with attention) enhances it all.
Quite often, when we are in conversation with someone, we are caught up in thinking about the next thing we should be saying, overreacting without taking a pause, and even judging what is being said. We also try so hard to be heard, validated and make a point that we are right!!
Being human comes with the inevitability of distractions. We tend to have short attention spans and the constant use of technology makes us more distracted than ever before. Becoming aware of our use of technology and how easily we can be distracted from conversation is an important step to becoming a better listener.
Strategies to Becoming a Better Listener in All That We Do.
- The Less we are plugged in, the more aware we are of what is happening in the moment. Actually, putting your phone away when engaged in a conversation and not looking at your computer can make the other person feel heard, and even more trusting within the relationship.
- Listening deeply to your colleagues or clients at work can solve all sorts of situations and get to the heart of whatever is up for discussion. Sharing experiences and knowledge is a wonderful thing. When everyone is listening and paying attention to one another, life at work is much more of an enjoyable experience.
- Becoming less reactive. Stop, listen and proceed and acknowledge what was said. Leaving space for response.
- Becoming more aware of the present moment. When we are truly listening, we are in the present and more aware of what is happening.
- Learning to be a better listener takes us out of our head and allows space for others to express themselves fully, with non-judgement and improved focus.
- Deep listening can be transformational and healing and can even help someone suffer less.
- Becoming more aware of what might be coming up for you in a conversation. Observing how your body, mind and emotions may be reacting to what is going on and what is being said. For example, feeling tense, increase in blood pressure, anxious or relaxed and at ease. Simply being more aware.
- We all have the capacity to be a good listener. The practice (and it is a practice) of deep listening has a ripple effect on all who we are communicating with. It is one of the most important qualities in developing healthy, honest and authentic relationships within every relationship we are involved in.
Qualities of being a good listener.
–respectful
-compassionate
-focused
– Non-judgmental
-self-aware
-a willingness to learn
-present/ mindful
– kind
-honest
-interested and open.
-engaged.
It is not always easy to be a great listener, but it is possible in each and every moment.
Trish Drynan
